For so long I hated anything about myself that wasn’t perfect.Those constant reminders of all my failures flew in the face of my goal of perfection, producing an overwhelming amount of self-contempt—you know that feeling of shame that makes you want to call yourself a “loser.”

It seemed to me that there was no goal worthier or even holier than perfection.My striving meant that I was no slouch.I was one of those who were driven, who really did try, and who wouldn’t rest until I got it right.

Yet, all perfectionism did was make me a bear to be around, and I discovered that I wasn’t so much trying to please God as I was trying not to need him­­­­. Sometimes I thought if I could only overcome one last little sin, I would arrive and triumphantly enter my sin-free existence.Ironically, I was endeavoring to make myself not need a savior.Why did I think my self-sufficiency sounded so Christian?

I was wrong on so many accounts.My goal shouldn’t have been perfection, but Jesus. It is hard to rest in my Savior’s loving arms when I am working so hard to show him I am worthy of his love. I am just beginning to understand what Jesus meant when he said, “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matt. 11:30)

Now I also see that he meant what he said when he uttered, “My strength is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Cor. 12:9) Once I accepted my imperfect self, it was much easier to see how desperately I needed Jesus in every area of my life and then to rejoice when he somehow radiated through me in my weakness for God’s glory.

In this season of Thanksgiving, I am so thankful for a God who recycles my junk and uses it for His glory.I am thankful for a Lord who promises to bring me rest, who encourages me to step off the treadmill and let Him carry me a while.I am thankful for a Savior who sees all of my imperfections and asks me not to get it together, but rather to hand it over to him. I hope that you have already discovered the cornucopia of grace that is our Abba God.May his peace bless you and yours this Thanksgiving.